Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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