I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
