I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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