I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
