apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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