no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
