there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
