So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
