i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
