I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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