Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
