you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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