I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Randomize
