I just saw a hot homeless man
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
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