I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
