haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
