Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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