JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
