Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
