I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Randomize
