Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
