Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
