yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
