No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
