I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
