Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
