Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
