I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
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