genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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