he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
