who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
