Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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