He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
YAS. BRING CRAB.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
