Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
