he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Randomize
