It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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