I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
