I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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