4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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