and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
