Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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