so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
