I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
