he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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