just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
barbara walters just said penis...
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
