ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
