Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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