mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
i just made my gag reflex go away.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
