i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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