i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
