So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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